История дурная, как вся моя жизнь. Обычно мне на англосайтах пишут, а нет ли моих текстов на английском языке, либо где находится английская версия. А тут одно неизвестное мне дитя возьми да спроси: не переведёте для меня на английский? Обычно я посылаю всех в гугль, а тут махнула рукой: фэндом редкий, шестьсот слов. Фиганула перевод, попросила поправить ошибки. Девочка пишет, что сойдёт и так, в чём лично я очень сомневаюсь, но не пропадать же добру.
Английская версия
читать дальшеAutumn is like my mood.
“You have a beautiful complexion”, - says Ea. – “I'm so glad you're slowly return to normal life, and you began to jog in the mornings, attend the pool” ...
I’m strong enough to smile. Maybe one day I'll have to run very, very fast. I'd probably learn a little fight, and shoot like an action hero, but thanks to bad mark in my personal file some doors are closed for me forever.
- I'm going to swim across the English Channel.
"Now I can see my Steve. I hope your sense of responsibility is back too. The country is waiting for your progress. Taxpayers hope you give them the reason to be proud, not you just fool away their money".
This is a hint of the grant. I would gladly guzzle their money away, but his mark in my file...
I would like to tear up a damn chip out of my hand, to gnaw out with my teeth, but I'm afraid I can’t find it in the mess of blood vessels and muscles. One day I was standing in front of the mirror for a long time, looking in my own irises. They were like two blue-gray desert, taken from the bird's eye view, with dunes and mysterious black spots, scattered here and there - dead tree? frozen gazelle? I can’t have any other, but these two are too well known to TIA. You can work in peace, Steve, because in your current state you bear threat to every person you contact.
I’ve anyway death as the last exit, it just has to be something very, very fast, damn era of digital technology, one electrical pulse is competing with the other, and someone is always watching you, and someone ready is always too close.
*
…Fly hit the glass. She fell on her back, rolled up her legs, buzzing angrily, turned over and crawled onto a smooth surface. It swung yet. And then I thought, I'm alive for all that, I'm alive, TIA - just a fence, there are no fences without holes. Before that, I was thinking about the wings, hands moves vacantly, and there was a paper plane in my hands, but I wasn’t in the class where you can throw a sсript over two rows. Airplane stuck his nose in the glass, fell belly-up, fly dropped next him ...
It was the first sheet and on the second, with a sharp pencil (knowing that I love to work by them, Ea has provided me bloody heaps of them), I drew a smile and wrote, "while there is life there is hope" - and pinned it to the wall to watch in moments of despair. Because they don’t let me any photos of Yasim.
*
But Ea began to patronize me from the first minute all day and night, she finds her way even in my nightmares.
In one of them we had sex, body moved on its own, I felt both pleasure and panic, and Ea said with a smile, that technology does not stand still. Rice grain size chip can open so many possibilities ...
In another dream, she marked files of people who don’t have to wake up tomorrow. One click - and TIA will stop as many hearts.
In reality, she looks at me with a satisfied smile like conqueror, enslaver. She thinks, she knows me inside out, the first step to taming is done, and I know that I was beaten only once in this whole story for the same reason that Ea’s arm is around my shoulders during the "confidential conversation "in the park, which is becoming tradition . This time I can’t escape to China from its suffocating care.
Autumn is coming to winter, I’m already cold in the light raincoat stuck from Beijing, and I wrap up tightly. I don’t want to prepare for winter, don’t want to resign to the fact that winter is sure to be, and I’ll spend it here, and God knows how long it takes. I don’t want to cluttered with things, to strike root. This is my small win - I'll freeze if I want to, and catch a cold, if I ...
“Oh, my little Steve, you have such a baby!”
Ea takes fluffy blue scarf off. Warmth of her body comes from it, scent of her perfume. She throws a scarf around my neck and wraps me motherly and criticized me for something at the same time. I don,t listen.Tears are still too close.
@темы:
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